9/11 Attack, 2001, John Zevitas

From MemoryArchive

Who: John Zevitas
What: 9/11
When: September 11, 2001
Where: North Penn High School, Lansdale Pa

I got off the bus. My mind, unable to put one and one together, began drifting away from my body. Not knowing if I should be angry or sad, the world just spun around me. All distractions became part of the background. I kept walking closer and closer to my house questioning the reason why I live the way I do. Why do I go to school to educate myself or even help out the community by providing altruistic service? What is the reason for life if evil will get us all at one point? My delusional thinking created somewhat of a faux reality around me. It was only me walking in this world of the purest white with a gloomy gray horizon getting closer by the minute. How did this horrid phenomenon happen? Why did they have to die? I was living in a video game. Death had no face. Like a scratched record, the dire scene played in my head again and again. Seeing the fires brought forth by the devil himself bringing the heart of the nation closer to hell, I wondered if my dreams of becoming a successful educated lawyer would vanish and instead, I would have to join the military to preserve my freedom all because of this evil day.

Earlier that day, sitting amongst dead demigods of a once prosperous empire, I slouched in my seat listening to my teacher revive their ancient language. Translating the words of Caesar was boring me to death. Only if the hands of time quickly brought fifteen minutes closer, I would be firing up a tune on my saxophone at my fourth period band class. Recovering me from dosing off was a godly but uneasy voice that infiltrated the stale air coming over the intercom. “A plane just crashed the World Trade Center…”

It did not register at first, the significance of this disaster. My first reaction was that a plane was flying too low and accidentally hit the tower. Yet, the grim voice of the speaker persuaded me to think otherwise. Then the bell rang. Entering the chaotic halls, I began my journey to band class. The halls had an eerie aura that made my stomach feel uneasy. The halls seemed quiet or maybe that was just because my ears were ignoring the chatter. The dehumanizing effect that occurred when hearing this devastating news had scared me to death. The halls were not filled with friendly faces but just soulless bodies. Not a familiar face was seen. This temporary amnesia lasted until I reached my destination of the band room.

The metaphoric nature of the room seemed too real. There were no obnoxious sounds of the tuba or the clarinet. Instead an absent aura of technology filled the room. The lights weren’t on. There were no windows in this room. The only illumination was coming from an old TV that had a hanger as its antenna. The reception was horrendous and at times we could not see what was going on at all. I felt isolated from the world living in this bomb shelter atmosphere with a TV that only showed snow on its screen. This third world reality was reinforced when seeing the second plane hit the twin towers. Just watching the emotional scene knowing that I had no control over the situation sent chills down my spine. This was no movie or video game but actual life. This knowledge was hard to grasp for an American like myself. We were under attack, but from what? The Cold War was over and the Soviets exist no more. We are the superpower now. No one has the capability to knock us down. But these modern day Visigoth barbarians have began the conquest to destroy us.

The rest of the day flew right by. The material teachers were teaching fell on deaf ears. Everyone wanted to turn on the TV and find out what was going on. I walked into my 5th period class only to come face to face with a blank TV. “Why isn’t the TV on,” one my classmates exclaimed rather angrily. The teacher did not answer his proclamation and went on with her regular preparation of class. I guess the reality of what just occurred was too harsh for some. Or maybe she was trying to protect us young adults. The idea that her teachings of science were more important than life shattering events never crossed my mind. Whatever the reason my 10th grade biology teacher wouldn’t put on the TV, I felt betrayed. How could a teacher paid by my tax dollars dictate if we could or not watch our destiny come to a crashing halt? This was no minor event; there was absolutely no reason why we were restricted to watch. I sat there during her lecture thinking of how she could have become this inhumane. My imagination ran wild. I came to the conclusion that my teacher was a historic bra-burning feminist that must have fell in love with her hamster, Watson, when her husband left her for a stripper named “Tootie.” I could see in her eyes that she wanted revenge. Maybe her husband didn’t let her watch her favorite soap opera when they were still married. Who knows? I looked around the class to see if anyone else felt the anger I did. Of course, I found that everyone was looking at her in disgust.

Many more times throughout the day the man of the intercom came on. “If your parents or anyone you know works in New York City and you want to make contact with them please come down to your home office.” The message, I believed, was trivial since I knew my parents were nowhere close to New York. Come to find out, my Dad was supposed to be in New York for a meeting until it was cancelled the night before.

Finally, the last bell rang and we all hurried to the buses. Conversations strayed from the norm. Talks about cute little outfits that were bought at Macy’s and the number of tackles one had in last weeks game were suppressed by the sound of timid and confused voices talking about the attacks. People were talking to people they never talked to. We were united. All the materialistic trash that separated the jocks from the band kids and the super cool from the super smart seemed to fall with the towers. A kid that I had a fight with in elementary school and never talked to me since actually struck up a conversation. “What do you think was the reason for behind the attacks?” I paused for a moment because I was surprised that he spoke to me. This kid, immature in nature, never wanting to face reality was coming to me for an answer of what just happened. All boundaries were gone. We all were Americans, nothing more nothing less. I looked into his eyes to see that he was changing right in front of me. No more did I see a young adult with a childish appearance. Instead, it was seen in his face that he couldn’t hide from reality no more. He did not want to be ignorant from current events. I finally realized I didn’t answer him yet and scrambled to come up with a collaboration of words. “I guess it was time that us Americans living in a materialistic world should realize that the world doesn’t revolve around us. Our borders were broken because of our ignorance. But not to worry…I truly believe that our president will handle this situation with precision and protect us from further attacks. ”

He looked at me satisfied with my answer. The communication barrier between us fell like the Berlin Wall and now we finally understood each other. We were both humans going through the same struggle. No longer did we see ourselves as enemies, but as Americans. It was this feeling that I look back at that I wished was still around. The bus arrived at my stop and I got off feeling very dizzy. My mind was working overtime raising questions and trying to answer others. I finally arrived to my cul-de-sac. The wind dared to blow the sullen atmosphere away for it too was crying in the trees. The street reminded me of pictures of the aftermath of Hiroshima. The streets were empty; the grass was burnt to a crisp from the dry sun. My mouth dry from an arid torture I acquired when the reality of today’s events hit me. The sky was limitless like the answers to my questions that I was longing to find out. The modern, summer day lacked the usual noise of aircrafts in the distance. Reaching my driveway, I hurried to the source that could answer my questions. The reporters on cable TV were as flustered as I was. Confusion filled the airwaves. Viacom’s great monopoly made itself present when MSNBC was on every station including MTV, VH1, Discovery channel and many others. The ability to reach their demographics still didn’t help me get any closer to understanding what just occurred.

There was no time for homework. It was ridiculous to learn about the past when now our future looks uncertain. Dinner time rolled around and it was hard to get myself to eat what could be my last good meal that didn’t come in packets provided by the National Guard. I just sat there with my eyes glued to the TV while my mind filled with rage. I, not a veteran of the Cold War, did not understand how we could go from the most powerful nation to a nation opened to attack from the most insignificant men. I never thought about security the way my parents did. In my lifetime, we have always been the aggressor. My bedtime came and gone but my questions were still not answered. Staying up not on caffeine or adrenaline but just pure fear was something I never experienced in my life. I was not afraid for my life, but for my nation’s future. Finally around 12:30, I said enough was enough and made my way up to bed. The day was left with so many questions unanswered. The reason why this occurred pondered the minds of everyone. The question of what this world would be like when the smoke cleared saturated my mind as my eyes closed and I fell asleep.