Arresting a Naked Crazy Woman, 1977, by Mike Gray

From MemoryArchive

Who: Mike Gray
What: Police duty
When: Summer 1977
Where: Napa, California

I was a member of the Napa Police Reserves (Napa, California) during the years of 1975 through 1978. Reserves typically worked weekend evenings and during special events to assist the full-time (Regular) officers with traffic, backup, arrests, parades, and numerous other events. Many of the Reserves were doing it in order to get some experience under their belts and to get a taste of what Police work is like. Others did it for the excitement, or simply for something to do on weekends. Some of them went on to become full-time officers, either for the City of Napa, or for some other California cities. I did not. In 1978 my wife and I decided to pack up our kids and move away from crazy California to the quaint and quiet sanity of Wisconsin.

During my three years as a Reserve Police Officer I had experienced a number of interesting situations that the general public only reads about. My most memorable situation was when my partner and I were called to a residential neighborhood where a naked woman was seen by neighbors sitting on a blanket in the middle of the street! Here’s my story….

It was a Friday evening just after dusk. I was assigned to ride with a Regular officer named Jerry. The shift began rather routinely as we made a few patrol checks, and cited an elderly driver for failing to stop at a Stop Sign. It wasn’t much later when we got a radio call from the dispatcher telling us about several complaints that were received from various residences that surrounded the dead-end of a cul-de-sac. The complaints were concerning a nude woman who was sitting in the middle of the street on a blanket. We looked at each other in disbelief and simultaneously shook our heads and rolled our eyes. We both had the ominous feeling that it’s going to be “one of those nights” that Police Officers don't look forward to. We drove toward the address that the dispatcher gave us. As we started heading down the cul-de-sac, we turned on our spotlights on each side of the patrol car in order to get a view of things far up ahead. We were able to see a faint profile of a person in the street rhythmically bobbing up and down. We strained our eyes in an effort to view what was going on up ahead. As we got within a few feet of the “incident” we couldn’t believe what we were looking at. There were approximately 20 to 25 people, including children, watching a naked woman doing sit-ups and other exercises on a blanket in the middle of the street.

I radioed the Dispatcher to confirm that we had located the source of the disturbance (that’s a euphemism for “We found the crazy naked lady!”). As we exited the Patrol Car, Jerry instructed me to clear away the spectators, especially the kids. After we disbursed the crowd, we went over to the woman on the blanket to ascertain what she was doing and why she was doing it. She was wearing only a bra.

Jerry grabbed the blanket and attempted to wrap it around her naked body. She pushed his hands away and continued with your exercises. The smell of alcohol was obvious. The smell of her dirty body was another matter. She did not want to be bothered by us so we tried to reason with her. Jerry asked her what her name is, and I asked where she lives. She ignored us as if we were incorporeal spirits. She not only appeared intoxicated, but she also appeared to have some sort of mental impairment. We were getting nowhere with her, so Jerry motioned to me to come back to the Patrol Car where we could discuss the issue in private. His frustration was showing and we had to do something with her very soon. His plan was for us to grab the blanket, wrap it around her before she knew what was going on, then pick her up with me at her arms and Jerry at her feet, and we would carry her to the Patrol Car. The plan worked... Almost. Just as we got her to the car, we opened the back door and attempted to place her on the rear seat. Before we could do that, she latched on to the top of the door with both hands. I was amazed at how strong she was. She had a death-grip on that door and was not about to let go. Jerry whispered to me that we will jab her in each side simultaneously with our thumbs. We did so and it worked. She was startled and let go of the door. We then placed handcuffs on her (standard procedure when transporting prisoners) and quickly shoved her on to the rear seat and slammed the door which automatically locked shut. One of the bystanders handed us her purse which she had dropped while setting up her exercise blanket. We were glad to have that purse because maybe we will have a clue as to who she is and where she is from. Jerry dug around her purse and found an I.D. card from the Tomalas Bay Correctional facility for women, which is in the San Francisco Bay area. He radioed the information to our dispatcher so that maybe we can ascertain if she is wanted for any crimes or court orders. The dispatcher informed us that she is a 52 year old single woman who is in fact an inmate at the Tomalas Bay facility and was reported missing. Apparently, she found a way out and simply walked away without being noticed. She hitchhiked her way to Napa so that she could be at a friend’s birthday party which was near where we found her. We were not able to drive her back to Tomalas Bay, so we took her to the local State Hospital in Napa so that she could be processed and transported back to Tomalas Bay.

We arrived at the State Hospital and proceeded to attempt to remove her from the Patrol Car but she did not want to exit the vehicle. The only way we could remove her was by force. Jerry opened one side of the vehicle and I opened the other. As Jerry pushed on her in an attempt to slide her across the seat, I had to grab her legs and pull her out the door. She then became very combatant. She was kicking her legs and trying to pull her hands out of the cuffs. We radioed to the dispatcher to call the State Hospital to have someone meet us in the parking lot with restraints. A couple of orderlies soon came out with a strait-jacket and a wheelchair. They had to tackle her to the ground in order to get the strait-jacket on her and strap her into the wheelchair. As the orderlies pushed her inside for questioning, Jerry and I proceeded to search the rear seat area for anything that might have been left by her. That was standard procedure any time a prisoner is transported in a Patrol Car. They have been known to leave behind drugs, weapons, or other contraband. The very first thing that both of us noticed is how bad the rear seat smelled. The woman was absolutely filthy, and unfortunately for us, much of her body odor and filth ended up in our Patrol Car. Jerry contacted the shift Sergeant to inform him that the car should be taken out of service to be cleaned before anyone else can use it.

Before we were ready to bring the car back to the station, we both desperately needed to do one thing – Wash our hands! So we both went into the State Hospital and headed directly to the Men’s Room.

When I got home that night I immediately took off my uniform and tossed it into the laundry. My wife came up to me to give me a kiss and ask me how the night went. She was rather perplexed when I snapped at her, “Don’t touch me!” I said I will explain it all to her AFTER my shower.

That was a night that I will never forget.