Focus on One's Life (Mental Illness), 1990s, by David C. Kaplan

From MemoryArchive

Who: David C. Kaplan
What: Focus on One's Life (Recovery from Mental Illness)
When: 1990s
Where: New York, New York

Focus is a work adjustment-training program sponsored by the Vocational Department at the Post Graduate Center West for Mental Health that helps people with mental illness prepare for the world of work. The program lasts roughly three months and runs from 9:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., Monday through Friday. At Focus, you work on learning goal setting, work readiness, and skill assessment through group and individual exercises. You also learn about the world of work through internships. This is an accurate description of the Focus program, but for me Focus had an added benefit; it helped change my life.

When I entered Focus in December 1995, I knew my life had to change. Although, I had been successful at volunteer jobs and internships, I had not done well in the world of paying jobs. I suffered from depression and stress leading to panic attacks which prevented me from working. I knew with my father's death, I had to earn a living to support myself. At the suggestion of my VESID counselor, I applied for and was accepted into the Focus program.

I felt defeated when I entered the Focus program, I saw my life as a failure. For the first time in my life, I found myself in Focus surrounded by people who suffered from mental illness. It was a liberating experience. I felt less isolated. I had never denied my mental illness from myself but hid it from others. I now saw that I was not alone. The exercises in the program were a journey of self-discovery. Where I saw only failure in my life, I now recognized hidden successes. At focus, I confronted some troubling episodes in my life dealing with my law school experience and I gained a measure of peace.

But my internship was to be a profoundly meaningful experience. I got an editorial internship at the Morningside-Westside Bulletin, a consumer-run mental health journal. The internship allowed me to bring my political and public policy knowledge to the service of my fellow mental health consumers. At the suggestion of the editor Ken Steele, I wrote an article on how the mental health budget was decided by the state legislature. I covered conferences and spoke at meetings to my fellow consumers.

At these meetings, I observed fellow consumers going public about their mental illness. I felt myself challenged. I decided at a meeting of the Day Program at St. Vincent's to go public about my mental illness. I spoke briefly and got a nice round of applause. With the encouragement of Ken Steele and my Focus counselor Pat Gannon I decided to write an article describing my struggle with mental illness and my self-started recovery. I published the article in the bulletin. I felt that what had once been a private source of shame now became a public source of pride.

I finished Focus in March of 1996 and went to work at a part time job as Associate Editor of the Morningside-Westside Bulletin. I continued my friendship with Ken Steele when he left the Bulletin to found a citywide consumer run mental health journal: New York City Voices. I have written for Voices. Ken Steele's sudden death this October was a great loss to the entire mental health community. In August of 1996 I found full time work as a bookseller at Borders. I have been working basically ever since then. The Focus program and my internship built up my self-knowledge and self-confidence so I could successfully work at a fulltime job. The Focus truly got my life back into focus.

Reproduced with permission from New York City Voices, where you will also find more information about recovery.