Night of My Life, December 15, 2002, by Patrick Finn

From MemoryArchive

Who: Patrick Finn
What: Meeting my girlfriend
When: December 15, 2002
Where: Stoneham Massachusetts

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been dating Janine for four years now. It doesn’t seem so long ago that we met in junior high school…

I remember the day that my best friend Andrew was talking about how many girls wanted to date him. It didn’t seem possible to me; I was just thirteen years old and it seemed like I was further thing from girls’ minds. Oh sure, I thought dating girls all the time, I mean what boy didn’t? But I was never the most popular kid in middle school. I had few friends and sat with the computer nerds at lunch. Andrew, and couple of guys I had known since preschool, would hangout with me on a regular basis outside of school, but they were a lot more active and involved socially. I can’t say that they were considered popular, but they were certainly more accepted among the “beautiful” than me.

So one day, it was a Saturday afternoon I believe, Andrew and I were walking down the street from his house to get lunch at the local Burger King and he began telling me about the number of girls that liked him. For the most part, I remember it being a particularly hilarious conversation; although the list of girls that were interested in him was long, most were what I would less than datable material. But Andrew was bursting with the confidence that you expect to see from a kid who knows that people like him. Anyway, he asked me which one I thought he should date. Looking at the list it was easy to knock off a bunch of names that I knew would either not be right for him or just not be right all. That left us with two girls, Lauren and Kaitlin, for him to choose between. I didn’t really know either girl very well but I gave him what advice I could. Kaitlin, I said, was a little bit big around the hips, but she was really cute and easy to get along with. Lauren was one of the most popular girls in school. Andrew sat next to her in technology class and the two had apparently hit it off. She was a tall girl with light brown hair and a very thin build. Although I had never spoken to her, I suggested that Andrew, if he had to choose, pick her as the girl to date. Thinking back on it, I probably made for selfish reasons; if Andrew could date one of the best known girls in school then maybe as his friend I could also become a part of that group. It made sense to me a young teenager desperate for acceptance that people would automatically like me because I knew Andrew who was dating Lauren.

As you’ve probably guessed by now, my plan didn’t work. Instead of becoming part of the group I was left with out a friend. Andrew and Lauren spent all their time together. Oh, I was still in the picture, but only as an observer. This was your typical middle school relationship; Andrew and Lauren didn’t see each other outside of school but they did spend every waking minute on the phone together. While I was still going over Andrew’s house to hang out, most of my time there was spent watching T.V. and listening to him talk to Lauren on the phone. It got to the point where it was pretty depressing; I wanted my own girlfriend that I could spend hours talking with. Strangely enough, Lauren had a best friend that was very similar to me. Janine, who I’d seen with Lauren a few times, was not part of the same group that Lauren hung out with in school. Like my relationship with Andrew, Lauren and Janine spent most or their after school time together but did not keep the same friends in school. On a whim, Lauren and Andrew decided that Janine and I should date. If they could set us up, then the four of us could all go on dates together and not have to worry about having an awkward conversation with our parents about the dangers of relationships. We’d being going out as a group, not as couples, no one would know the difference. Well, it didn’t work out like that.

Before I go out, let me speak a little bit about Janine and my first impressions of her. Having never spoken to either her or Lauren before Andrew began his relationship, I didn’t really know what to make of Janine. Truthfully, I thought she was a foreign exchange student. The girl just looked like she was from another country. Very skinny with long dark hair and glasses, Janine never seemed to talk and I swear she wore the same shirt to school everyday. Outside of French class I don’t think I ever saw her in the building and I’m pretty sure that almost no one knew her name. Sounds just like the type of girl I would be perfect for, no? Well Andrew and Lauren thought so and I gave it a shot. We all met one day at Janine’s house, it was probably the first time I’d ever been over a girl’s house in my entire life. Well let me tell you, I had a great time. No, I didn’t get my first kiss or have my first beer; I got into a screaming match with Janine. Strange isn’t it? Here was my first opportunity to actually have a chance with a girl and all I could do was be openly hostile. I think I was nervous and being outwardly mean to Janine allowed me to relax. Looking back on it, I believe she felt the same way. Instead of getting along, we spent the entire day fighting with each other over the most pointless things. Needless to say, Lauren and Andrew were not thrilled. My fight with Janine had left their nerves frayed and ruined their afternoon together. However, although I don’t think either of us would have admitted it at the time, Janine and I built a loving relationship that day.

As the school year came to an end, Andrew and Lauren began to drift apart; young love has a tendency of doing that. After that day at Janine’s I probably only saw her one more time, just before Andrew and Lauren finally broke up. When school was over for the year the four of us moved on with our lives. As middle school turned into high school, Andrew and I drifted apart as friends. His busy schedule of after school sports and his job meant that I rarely saw him anymore. As for Lauren and Janine, I didn’t speak to either of them for almost two years after the last time all four of us were together.

When I began high school, I finally found my niche. Taking a number of “honors” classes I met kids just like me. It was a diverse group of friends and for the first time I was hanging out with both boys and girls. It was an exciting experience that was heightened by the quest to find a date to big Semiformal dance. Now best friends with Rob and Shawn, two guys in most of my classes, the three of us were anxiously anticipating who to ask to the dance. Although we now were friends with a number of girls, it was a scary process asking them out and I remember thinking I’d never be able to do it. However, as luck would have it, a girl with more courage than I’ve ever had, asked me to the dance. Her name was Jill and we sat next to each other in science class. It was a big break for me and I was the first to have a date to dance. As it got closer and closer to the dance both Rob and Shawn found dates and the three of us were all very excited; but one of our other friends, Tommy, remained with out a date and desperately wanted to find someone to go with him. Filled with confidence having had a girl ask me out, I told Tommy that I would help him find a date. I was sure I could do it. However, with the dance so close, there were very few girls left without a date.

But I had an idea. I knew that Kaitlin, the girl that once upon a time wanted to date Andrew, did not have a date to the dance and was probably not to go. I figured it would be worth a shot to see if she had any interest in going with Tommy. There was just one problem, I’d never really talked to Kaitlin and didn’t want to approach her only to find out that she actually did have a date to the dance. I needed to ask one of her friends before I spoke to her, but the only girl that I knew that was friends with Kaitlin was Janine. It was a strange conversation…

   Me: “Um hello” 
   Janine: “Hi?” 
   Me: “Well I know we haven’t talked in a long time… but do you know if Kaitlin has a date to the dance?” 
   Janine: “No” 
   Me “Well do you think she’d go if Tommy asked her?” 
   Janine: “No clue” 
   Me: “Ok thanks”

And that was it. She didn’t really help me out and seemed perplexed as to why I was talking to her. However, the next day she approached me and said that Kaitlin would go if Tommy asked. Score one for me. Over the next month, Janine and I began to speak more frequently than before. Our conversations always turned uncivil with both of us insulting the other; but for the first time it looked like we might have some friendship.

  And then I started dating Kaitlin. I think it really hurt Janine. At the dance, it was clear that Jill and I just weren’t right for each other. We had a good time, but spent the night mingling with other people and not really paying attention to each other. That night was the first time I had ever really spent time talking to Kaitlin and immediately we hit it off. Although I probably looked like a dick in the eyes of Tommy (I spent the whole night flirting with his date) it was one of the happiest nights of my life. Over the next month I spent a ton of time with Kaitlin, and, since they were friends, Janine. Kaitlin was a great girl, funny, cute, easy to talk too, just about everything I was looking for in a girl; just about. 

But something wasn’t right; although I love the time I spent with Kaitlin and thought about her often, I just knew she wasn’t the girl for me. As the relationship wore on, I started spending more and more time talking to Janine. I could tell, or at least I thought I could, that Janine had feelings for me that she wasn’t saying. Something about her voice and her advice on my relationship with Kaitlin just made me think that she wanted to be with me. When I finally broke up with Kaitlin, about six months after I started dating her, it was Janine that helped me do it. I think I expected to start dating Janine soon after I broke up with Kaitlin, but a relationship never materialized.

I spent the next three years of high school hanging out with my friends, trying to make my parents proud, and dealing with the same trails and tribulations that any kid faces. Over that time period Janine and I became really good friends and there was always some degree of tension between the two of us but she always seemed to afraid to act on it. I made it clear from time to time that I would like to take her on a date, but Janine usually rebuffed my advances claiming that I wasn’t serious. It was an extremely frustrating time for me. As friends we continued to have a strange relationship that included what seemed like a weekly shouting match with each other. Both of us enjoyed making the other miserable and our fights were typically always in good taste.

Probably the most depressing periods during my high school years were when Janine decided to date someone else. Although I was always in her life and we knew everything about each other, Janine constantly avoided going on a date with me. It was terribly painful for me when she started dating a number or different guys. Although she was a very “good girl” (meaning that she didn’t move beyond kissing and holding hands with the guys she dated) it was tough for me to handle knowing that someone else was with the girl that I wanted. It then that I figured I loved Janine; no girl before or since has made me feel the way she does.

Probably the most shocking period of time came when Janine started dating my two best friends. For years, Rob and Shawn had talked about Janine and I knew that they both enjoyed her company and wanted to take her out on a date. Although I knew they liked her and were very good friends with her, I always felt that my relationship with Janine was just stronger. While they both openly talked about wanting to date Janine, I kept my feelings for her hidden from everyone but her. She was the only one that knew I liked her and that’s why it was so frustrating for me when she started dating first Rob and then Shawn. My friends were seeing the girl that I loved and it killed me. I wanted her all to myself but felt that the longer I knew her the less likely that would be. That was, until one night.

I played the clarinet in high school and was a member of the marching band. One Friday night after returning from a performance at the varsity football game I had a number of people show up at my house. While we were hanging out, Janine and Rob drove up in Rob’s car. “She’s so drunk!” I remember him saying. At that time Janine was no longer seeing Rob or Shawn and seemed to just be in the mood to party. That night she had taken a bunch of liquor from her parents bar and mixed herself drinks before going out. However, she didn’t seem very drunk to me. When she got out of the car we started talking and I could tell that she was intoxicated but assumed that she would sober up soon. Had I known that she really was as drunk as she was I wouldn’t have followed through with what happened next. Janine came up to me and put her arms around my neck and said she loved me. It was first time that she had ever done that and it simply shocked me. I always hoped that she had feelings for me but never really assumed that she did, until then. We walked away from the group, sitting down on a lawn across the street and began to talk. Before long we were making out and I guess lost track of time. By the time I finally took her home everyone else had already left my house. Thinking about it now, I probably convinced myself that she was more sober than she actually was. But I was just so excited to finally be given the chance to be with her; I let my hormones take over and just tried to enjoy the night.

The next day was very awkward. Neither of us was really sure what to say or do. Surprisingly about a month past before we spent time alone together again. It was the day after my birthday, December 15, 2002. Both of us were sitting at home bored trying to find something to do on a cold winter night. I decided to ask Janine if she wanted to with me and go shopping for Christmas presents. Since the night that we had made out, Janine seemed very unsure of how to act around me. When I asked to come to the mall she was initially very hesitant. It was only after I agreed to take her friend Anne with us that she decided she would go. Well the three of us went out that night and had a good time; I got some shopping done and we left the mall just as it was closing. Without having anything else to do I decided to take the girls home and drove from the mall to Anne’s house. After dropping her off, I drove down the street towards Janine’s house. But before we made it there, I decided to take a chance. Instead of continuing down the street towards Janine’s house, I pulled into a parking lot and declared that I had to sleep. Confused, Janine didn’t know what to say but just sat in the passenger’s seat and pretended not to mind. That night I was driving my mom minivan; when I parked the car I reclined my seat backwards and pretended to start sleeping. At that point, Janine said, “well if you’re going to sleep at least stretch out,” and proceeded to go into the back of the car. After letting her settled down for a minute, I decided again to take a chance. I moved into the back seat and got real close to Janine. As I moved closer I could tell that she was waiting for me. All of a sudden her eyes opened and she looked up at me. Bam, her arms reached up and pulled me towards her. Before I knew it we were making out. Here I was, a senior in high school making out with the girl I’d been chasing since seventh grade. That was the most spectacular night of my life. We sat in the car for hours just hugging and kissing each other. We were both lost in the moment.

Usually I would be home by 11:30 every night, but not that night. Janine and I didn’t leave that parking lot until almost two in the morning. I finally decided to leave when I figured that my mother was probably ready to send out a search party looking for me.

That was four years ago this December and it remains the most wonderful night of my life. Janine and I are still dating and plan on spending many years of our lives together.