Peaches, August 2004, by Kon Popov
From MemoryArchive
Who: Kon Popov What: Peaches When: August 2004 Where: Brooklyn
The story of how I changed my mind about peaches.
Peaches, who can not love them. Well, until a wonderful, warm summer day in august 2004 i was one of those people. That day destroyed the existence of such a wonderful fruit in my mind (needless to say the only fruit from its kind i am not alergic to).
Bright and early and jobless, i had not goals the day before. Sitting around and watching TV all day, all while waiting for my ladyfriend to come back from a hard days work and motivate me to get up. Not eating or drinking simply due to overwhelming laziness, all i was capable of doing was to keep losing money at online poker.
Then came a phone call that eventually changed the peach in my mind. A family friend needed some help. He was in the business of transporting fruit and selling them to various stores. He asked that i change my favorite routine of waking at 2 pm, sometimes even as early as 3, and to go help him out. This little adventure would start at my usual bedtime of 6 am, and he promised it would end at my wakeup hour. Fighting temptation of the peace and tranquility and the military channel, i agreed. Of corse, only after being offered 100 bucks.He wasnt that good of an acquantance anyway. That was too small an offer by my standards i thought, my time clearly being more valuable, but i figured i had to earn some cash since all i had was plastic, which never leads to good.
So, i went to sleep at a reasonable hour and due to my jetlag because of a messed up prior schedule, i was finally asleep by 3 am. At 5:30, i was rudely awakened by the usual coldhearted method: cold water in ear and removal of cover (patented by mother).
30 minutes and 2 cups later, i finally gott out of bed. Cold, unbrushed, and unhappy, i am in a dirty truck 10 minutes later. For some god forsaken reason, i am on my way to Pennsylvania. The only thing keeping me going, is the 10 pallets of my favorite fruit that will be loaded within a couple of hours of which i can surely skim.
What i didnt realize, and what was not too clear in the contract agreement the day before, was: 1) number of pallets, 2) size of each box, 3) bad company. Who knew that each of the 10 pallets contained 48 35-pound boxes of peached stacked 6 feet in the air and which must be unloaded by hand off a truck 5 feet of the ground. Slight details. After getting an empowering lunch of 4 chicken dumplings from an outdoor chinese dealer, we were off to do some labor. Correction, the aquaintence happened to be a guy in his 50's, about 5'2". This meant that after 1.5 pallets he was done, and the rest was left to me (except the gloves which he kept to himself).
All day long, breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper, all the way until 7 pm it was peaches. Since peaches are largely composed of water, frequent stops needed to be made for my weak bladder acquantence, be that on an intersection, highway or simply in front of a store he did not much care for. That day, was the day when i must have eaten at least 20 pounds of peaches, to be conservative. Tired, restless, sleepy, pissed, and holding a peach in my hand, i was ready to take the train from wherever. But, constant reassuring of the end of the peaches kept me going.
Finally, some fool agreed to buy the last 2 pallets. Provided that we take it to his storage. A hole in the wall in chinatown. Gladly for me, i no longer had to take a shower upon getting home since it started pouring after the first 2 boxes. Rejuvinated by the rain, as if by a case of redbull, i worked without rest for 30 minutes unloading these stupid peaches hoping this horror would end. And it di\d, at least for me. Several boxes to the end, i was relieved of my duties when i screached as a felt a horrible pain in my finger. I thought i got cut by the dirtiest knive in the world, but no, its was not that easy.
A bee, a fricking bee. Couldnt sting me before, only when there are several boxes left. A smart one i must say. Turned out, to mine and everyones surpirse i have an allergy to bee stings, so my hand swelled up to the size of 3 extra large peaches and that only made my day better. Freaking out, my fellow lazy peach man hired some asian worker at i beleive 5 dollars to finish the job. Soon, i was to be home.
The recouperation definetely took some time, and all the women of my life wept over my pain and suffering. Well, not really. But they did understand my pain. Well, not really. And they did help me out with emotional counseling. Well, not really since emotions are a topic i no not much of. But, i did bring a box of my favorite fruit home along with my salary: a staggering 7.1429 dollars an hour. Everyone was proud.
To say the least, the term "peachy" means something else to me than it does to most people.
I hate peaches.
